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Home » Estate Planning » Leave Instructions for Your Estate Administrator

Leave Instructions for Your Estate Administrator

September 4, 2025 by Larry Parman, Estate Planning Attorney, Author, Speaker

Creating an estate plan is a powerful way to make sure your wishes are followed after your death. But even the best plan can fall short if the person managing your estate does not have clear guidance.

If you live in Oklahoma and name an executor or trustee to handle your affairs, you should take the extra step of leaving written instructions.

You might assume that your estate plan speaks for itself. After all, your will or trust outlines who receives what.

But the reality is that your administrator will face decisions and tasks that are not always spelled out in legal documents. By providing instructions, you can reduce confusion, avoid mistakes, and make things easier for the people you leave behind.

What Does an Estate Administrator Do?

Your estate administrator is the person responsible for managing your estate after you pass away. In Oklahoma, this person is typically called a personal representative if appointed through a will, or a trustee if you are using a trust to handle the distribution of your assets.

Their role involves collecting your assets, having them valued as of the date of your death, paying final debts and taxes, and distributing your property according to your estate plan.

These duties may sound straightforward, but they come with real-world challenges. Your administrator may need to track down financial records, work with attorneys and tax professionals, and navigate family dynamics.

The more guidance you give them now, the more smoothly the process will go later.

Why Legal Documents Alone May Not Be Enough

Your will or trust will tell your administrator what to do, but it will not always explain how to do it. These documents are designed to meet legal standards, not to answer day-to-day questions about your property or personal preferences.

What if you have a safe deposit box that your executor does not know about? Or a subscription service that needs to be canceled? What if you want your cousin to receive a particular item in your home that’s not listed in your will?

Your estate administrator cannot follow your wishes if they do not know what they are.

This is where a different kind of document comes in. The name may sound obvious, but it serves an important purpose. You need a letter of instruction.

What Is a Letter of Instruction?

A letter of instruction is a non-binding document that supplements your formal estate plan. It is not submitted to the court and does not carry legal authority, but it can make your administrator’s job significantly easier.

In this letter, you provide practical information that does not belong in a will or trust. That includes details like passwords, account numbers, locations of important documents, names of professional contacts, and explanations of your personal wishes.

Because the letter is informal, you can update it at any time without going through a legal process. That makes it ideal for keeping track of the little things that change over time.

What to Include in Your Letter of Instruction

Your letter should be written clearly and updated as needed. You can include:

  • A list of key contacts, including family members, friends, your attorney, accountant, and financial advisor
  • A list of bank accounts, retirement accounts, insurance policies, and other financial assets
  • Passwords and login information for digital accounts, including email, social media, and cloud storage
  • Instructions for handling personal property not listed in your will
  • Details about funeral or burial preferences, if not addressed elsewhere
  • Information about household bills, mortgages, utilities, or services that need attention

You can also use the letter to explain your estate planning decisions. If you believe certain choices could surprise or upset someone, a personal message in your own words can reduce tension and avoid misunderstandings.

Keep It Accessible, Not Public

Store your letter of instruction in a secure but accessible location. Tell your estate administrator where to find it. Do not put it in a safe deposit box unless your administrator has the legal authority and access to retrieve it after your death.

Avoid including sensitive information in your will itself. Once filed with the probate court, a will becomes a public record. Your letter of instruction remains private, giving you a way to communicate candidly with the person in charge of your estate.

Schedule a Consultation Today!

We can help you create a plan that covers all your bases, and you can set the wheels in motion by calling our Oklahoma City estate planning office at 405-843-6100. Our Tulsa location can be reached at 918-615-2700, and you can use our contact form to send us a message.

 

 

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Larry Parman, Estate Planning Attorney, Author, Speaker
Larry Parman, Estate Planning Attorney, Author, Speaker
Founder and Owner at Parman & Easterday
Larry Parman's dad died at 56 in a farm accident with no estate plan. His family spent two years fighting the IRS and nearly three years in probate. That experience became Larry's life work.

Since founding Parman & Easterday in 1985, Larry has led over 1,000 free, community-service education programs and helped more than 10,000 Oklahoma families go from putting off their estate plan to getting it done. His goal for every client is the same: to become the person their family calls "the one who took care of everything."

Larry is the author of three books: The Straight Shooter's Guide to Estate Planning; Estate Planning Basics; and Guiding Those Left Behind in Oklahoma. He served as Oklahoma's Secretary of State and Secretary of Commerce, and his firm is the only member of the American Academy of Estate Planning Attorneys in the state.
Larry Parman, Estate Planning Attorney, Author, Speaker
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Filed Under: Estate Planning Tagged With: estate administrator, executor, trustee

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